Focus and Priorities: Choosing Between Good and Good
Lately I’ve been asking myself, just as I have so many times before, where to put my focus, and what to prioritize.
Questions about focus and priorities aren’t new for me, but they seem to show up in different forms throughout different seasons of life and business. As someone who’s had her own business for over 20 years, I’ve learned that I can get away with sloppy habits here and there, but if I’m not able to focus on and prioritize what’s most meaningful, my business suffers — and so do I.
I’ve got a list of things to do that includes personal tasks, as well as businessy things. It’s a good list, and part of me is sure that if I executed on it life would feel like a work of art. And yet when I review the list more closely, the truth is that some things feel inspiring and some just feel… meh.
When the Little Things Become Big Things
Recently I spent hours cleaning and organizing my house, doing things I’d been putting off because they’re small-not that big of a deal-will only take a minute… until those small things turned into one large thing that took me most of a day. My habit of focusing mostly on the big stuff allowed the little stuff to build up to the point it became Big Stuff, which was much more of a pain to deal with. Which led me back to the question of how to decide where to put my focus, and what to prioritize, because apparently it wasn’t as straightforward an answer as I thought.
I’ve been through this cycle before, of course, where I set priorities that I either follow or don’t. If I stray, it’s often because something else came up – like when my dog wasn’t feeling well and I stayed home with him rather than going to a writer’s workshop (pup was clearly the priority). Other times the priorities don’t happen because I’m relying on willpower to get them done, counting on sheer force to get me through. But willpower is a finite resource, and once it’s used up, I have to wait for it to regenerate. This is not a sustainable way to get things done, and sets me up for disappointment when my willpower inevitably runs out. (Check out Baumeister & Tierney’s book, Willpower, for more on this.)
And, of course, I love the times when I follow my plan and all goes smoothly – like the time I sat down and sketched out a workbook for my client who was going through a life and work transition, and I was inspired to give him some tools to make the transition easier. I wrote the draft in an afternoon, leaving me feeling satisfied and fulfilled, and like all was right with the world.
A List of Things That Matter
As I’m writing this, a list formed in my mind of the things currently vying for my attention, so I jotted it down:
• Writing
• Solo Biz Journey Community
• Individual clients
• Workshops
• Friends
• Health
• Meditation
• Travel
• Volunteering
• Museums
These are all things that matter to me, and choosing between good and good is a nice problem to have. Which makes me wonder — what if what makes prioritizing hard is the realization that everything on the list feels meaningful? It’s like having five favorite sweaters that I love, and having to pick which one to wear today; the truth is I love them all equally, which can make it hard to know which one to choose. They’re all my favs, so is there really a wrong choice?
The Trouble with Good Advice
Productivity tips I’ve read say things like, here’s how to prioritize… make an effective list… get things done. Some of these tips have been helpful; I confess, though, that just as many or more have left me feeling deflated, as if there’s something wrong with me for not being able to work that way. These feel like lofty ideas, outside the reality of a hectic Tuesday morning when I’m just trying to get some stuff done but not getting any traction – like no matter where I put my attention, it’s not only not getting things done, it’s also not feeding my soul or business. It’s exhausting.
I don’t have a productivity hack to help me choose; what I have instead is years of wrestling with these questions, and noticing where my energy leads me. The challenge often isn’t deciding which thing is best — it’s deciding between ten good things that all deserve time and attention. That’s a richer conversation, and much more meaningful than another missive about time management.
What Needs My Attention Now?
At the end of the day, how to focus and prioritize is about deciding what gets my attention in this moment. The list doesn’t disappear because I choose one thing. My friends still matter when I’m writing. My health still matters when I’m helping a client. My business still matters when I’m sitting quietly in meditation. Nothing is being abandoned or voted off the island; the only question is what needs me right now.
Maybe That’s Enough
At the end of the day, how to focus and prioritize is about deciding what gets my attention in this moment. Maybe that’s why prioritization feels so emotionally loaded: it feels like I’m making permanent decisions when in fact the only thing I need to decide is just for this moment. I’m not choosing my favorite sweater forever — I’m choosing which sweater to wear today, and tomorrow I can choose differently.
When I look back on the moments when I’m at my best, it’s because I was attentive and present, willing to fully be with whatever I chose to focus on.
The workbook I drafted in an afternoon.
The day spent caring for my dog.
The morning spent writing.
The afternoon spent cleaning up the little things that had quietly become big things.
Those choices were simply what was needed at the time. And maybe that’s enough: not deciding what matters forever — instead, giving myself permission to just decide what matters now.
